Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Perfection
Why is it that we are so determined to appear 'perfect'? I use to be quite guilty of this but I have recently finally been able to accept that we all struggle. Why is it that we are more than happy to take in meals to others in need or listen to those suffering for hours on end? I think that most of us actually enjoy doing these things. We enjoy serving others in need but definitely don't like the spotlight on ourselves. Maybe we like serving so much because it makes our own issues go away for a small time. Who knows, really. Regardless of the reasons it's craziness. Sometimes we flat out need help! We need someone's shoulder to cry on. We need a hug or someone to watch our kids so that we can breathe for an hour. Everyone in life needs help occasionally! And it's ok! It's normal!!!! I don't know exactly where I am going with this. I guess I just want us all to remember, including myself, that asking for and receiving help is a good thing. Think of how happy it makes you to serve someone in need. Let someone do that for you. I am not saying that you have to stand on the mountaintop and shout 'MY HUSBAND IS ADDICTED TO PORN!" (That might be a little overwhelming ;) What I am saying though is that if you need help, get it. Whether it is confiding in a friend, emailing me :), attending a 12 step meeting, finding a therapist, joining an online forum, or chatting with a Bishop, do it! Do what you need to continue on this journey of healing. No one's life is perfect, NO ONE'S! Even our amazing Prophet and Apostles of this incredible church face significant trials and I bet you anything that they receive help from others. They don't bear their hardships alone. They have lost children and spouses. They have had children with addictions. They are tried in this life just as we are. They provide help to others in need but they also receive it in their moments of need. Admit that your life is not perfect because it's not. I hope that it is great and wonderful and fun and enjoyable but it is not perfect. It is not suppose to be and it is not ever going to be (sorry to break it to ya). This life is a wonderful journey filled with trials and triumphs. I hope that we will all ask for the help we need when we need it. Asking for help is hard, I know, but make someone's day by letting them serve you. No one's life is perfect and we all secretly know it.
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This is a great reminder for all of us. I would love to be honest with people about my struggles, but I certainly don't want to be in the spotlight in the train-wreck sense. I don't want people feeling sorry for me or forgetting who I am because all they think of is what I'm going through. I have gotten much better about seeking out and accepting help, but it's a work in progress.
ReplyDeletewishing i could be open with others. women all around me have experience and i would like to speak with them. why can he touch me without a problem but its annoying and frustrating when i try touching him? i once felt beautiful and attractive but lately i feel so unattractive and shot down. i show my love by touch, i kiss, hug, and being intimate with my husband is the sweetest way for me to show my love but he does not allow me to show it, isntead i am ignored. he hasn't relapsed for a while but this just frustrates me, worries me ugh sometimes i wish i was a naive child again
ReplyDeleteMac, I am with you. I don't want pity or sympathy either. Definitely a work in progress for me as well!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, that is so frustrating I am sorry. Maybe finding at least one person to confide in might be helpful. I struggle with touch so I have no words of wisdom unfortunately. If you haven't already please join hopeandhealinglds.com for an online chat forum. You will be able to ask questions annonymously and I know many wise women will have ideas for you. Keep fighting.