Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Last night I had a MAJOR meltdown, to say the least. I am the type of person who bottles up emotions until they literally explode out of my body through tears. It's messed up, I know. I feel much better now however. I hate crying and being upset but it does feel nice once it's over. I am trying to express my emotions better when they are actually being experienced (not 3 months later). My heart has been aching for so many of my good friends who are suffering. I feel as though there is nothing I can do for them and it frustrates me. I feel like my house is always in chaos and messy (which it is) but that it shouldn't be. I want to be good at something. Something that people can see. You know how when you are asked what your talent is you list piano, dance, singing, drawing, blah blah blah? Well I don't have any of those. It bugs me! I know I am talented in unseen ways but sometimes I just want to be apparently good at something. I have decided to be good at selling Scentsy. Well... it's a lot harder than I thought but I'm not going to give up. I always give up. I don't like things that are hard. I gave up soccer, I gave up dance, I gave up a blog after 2 weeks bc I sucked at it. I don't want to give up anymore. I want to be good at something. I want to persevere. I am going to persevere. I can do this and I will.