After the initial shock and sobbing episodes I realized that I could not live this way. My children needed a good mom and my husband needed a good wife. At first I torn between "Do I punish and shun my husband," or do I "Love him unconditionally and support him?" After lots of thought and prayer and some advice from my sister in law I decided that I needed to be Chirstlike and still love and support him. It was a very difficult decision because I wanted to punish him for his actions. I didn't want to cook for him, or be nice to him, have sex with him or anything else that put a smile on his face. I decided that I could and had to choose to be happy. He needs my support and love. My kids need and deserve a happy mom and dad who love each other.
And so I chose to be just that, happy.
This doesn't mean that it isn't hard. I find myself wishing so badly that this never happened to me, or I will question why I still go to church and try to do what it right. Then I remember that Heavenly Father loves me more than I can imagine. The purpose of this life is go through trials and to become better. Plus, I have a strong testimony and know that the Church is true. My husband and I have been enormously blessed with so much and I know that Heavenly Fathe truly watches over me and protects my family. Life is full of trials. This is not the first trial I have ever experienced and unfortunately it will not be the last. Trials are given to us to make us better people and for us to help others in return. I hope that I can help other wives who are suffering that my husband can someday help other men avoid this plague of pornography. This month in the Ensign I read a wonderful message. I hope that it will help you in choosing happiness. Life is hard and it's ok to have rough times and moments. This is a horrible rampant problem that is very unenjoyable to deal with but... we can still choose to be happy regardless of life's circumstances. I hope you read the article and are able to choose and honestly be happy admist life's sometimes awful circumstances.
Thank you for posting this! This is something I discovered last year when I was trenching through the most awful betrayal. We are in control of our happiness...
ReplyDeleteW, are you in counseling? Is you husband in therapy?
As it is that you are so new into this discovery, I would be more cautious than ever! I never thought my husband would have done what he did... The lies, the money, the old highschool girlfriend, the actual infidelity... NEVER! It took 6 weeks for the intense stuff to come out and I'm certain I don't know it all
to this day!
I'm so sorry you have found yourself amongst the club that no woman wants to or should be apart of... My heart breaks for you... I know the pain, the hurt, the denial, the anger, the shock... I just hope for your sake and the sake of your
children that there isn't more. If you ever EVER need a listening ear, I'm here. Email me anytime and I'll get you my number. If we live close enough, we could get together even. I've found many friends who've become my support because they 'get it'- most people just don't.
You're in my thoughts and prayers! Let me know how I can help... Seriously!
Xoxo
My email is
ReplyDeletemommajll@gmail.com