Thursday, October 13, 2011
So today while sitting with my neighbor as our kids played, she asked where I go every Tuesday night. (We hang out every day and are very good friends, so no she is not stalking me0. Uh, ok a little caught off guard I am at addiction recovery meeting every night because my husband has an addiction to pornography is what I thought but I definitely did not say that. She is dealing with her own marital issues and I have told her that everyone has problems including us (she assumed we were the "perfect mormon neighbor next door, we have good 'sunday faces'"). She doesn't know what we are dealing with nor do I know what she is dealing with. We talk in very general terms when it comes to the subject of our marriages. So anyways after she asked me she was all is this a hush hush thing? I said kind of, but I think my husband wants to talk to yours before I talk to you (which is true). I told her I go to therapy for what we are dealing with but that someday soon I will tell her exactly what it is. She asked why I would tell her and I explained that what we are dealing with is so prevalent among people but not talked about so we want to get the word out to as many people as we can but that it is scary to talk about. So anyways, it was interesting. I am nervous to talk with her because I fear she will think very poorly of my husband but at the same time I want to show her that good men and families are dealing with horrific events without any appearance of it. I want to share this trial with as many as I can as so show the hope and healing of it. Life is full of painful trials and they are not going to go away. When one gets resolved a few more pop up. This is life. What we do with them will determine the person that we are. Pornography addiction is awful, trust me I know. But it is overcomable. There is hope and healing. Marriages and people can become better and stronger. Lots of tears will be shed. Pain will be felt in more ways than you thought possible but someday it will be ok. Someday you will be happy and whole again. And who knows, maybe even happier! Maybe even better! Find resources and help so that you can be happier and better sooner rather than later. My marriage is the best it has even been and I honestly owe it to this trial. I cringe saying it, but it's true. Hearthache and turmoil are making me and my family better.