Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I finally got my rear in gear and made it back to my 12 step group. Man I forgot how much I seriously love those women! They are amazing! Go to a group if you don't already. There were a few different 'take home messages' if you will that I wanted to talk about. I will probably only go into one right now so here it is. I was impressed by how many women are doing so well. So many of them are healing. They are happy again. They have hope! They have turned to their Father in Heaven for help. They have learned that even though this is their husbands addiction they are deeply affected by it. They have realized that they have to recover from this problem that they had absolutely no part in. They are focusing on their own healing. So if you haven't found your healing and recovery you are probably wondering 'how are these women doing it?' How do I become happy again? Well, here is what has worked for me and what I heard from other women last night that has worked for them. First of all the LDS 12 step addiction recovery program has played a tremendous role in many of our recoveries as loved ones. Letting go of co-depency is another absolute must to happiness! You cannot base your emotions on how your husband is doing. You have to heal your heart regardless of your husbands sobriety or relapse. I know, sounds impossible!! When I was finally able to do this I was happy. It was so much easier to not worry about his every waking move. If he relapsed, it was sad and hard but I was ok. I had learned that his relapse wasn't a result of me. I have learned that we are both on a journey but our journey's are a separate adventure. He must heal himself and I must heal myself. The women that I saw and listened to last night are truly happy again. We are all still learning and growing (that's the point of life afterall) but we are ok again. We have learned not to base our emotions on our husbands progress. Rely on your Heavenly Father. He will provide you with strength and endurance. He will give you answers and inspiration when you are doing what is right. I am living proof that you can go from horror and shock, to misery and pain beyond imagine, and end with healing and happiness. Crazy but true! Do everything you can to heal yourself. You need to heal. Put yourself first and make this a priority. Don't shove it under the rug, it ain't goin' anywhere. I witnessed multiple women last night who are healing and happy. I promise you can do this and I want so badly for you to do it. Trust Heavenly Father and use Jesus Christ's Atonement in your healing process. You can do this and you need to do this. Become happy again, it's awesome!